Mid-year Resolution

Well, the title tells it all, right?

A quick browse through the calender has brought to my attention the fact that I'm actually leaving Malaysian soil in something like two months, and actually furthering my studies in the States. I should say its pretty much a dream come true, as I used to want to go to the States, at least before Bush come into the picture. Nevertheless, my desire has been re-ignited, what with the recent change shown by the Obama administration. But I digress. This post shall not be about the States or anything else for the matter, but rather what I want to do before I fly off.

Learn to drive
Everyone knows how much I talk about my driving (or rather, my lack of it). Truly, I seriously want to actually start driving, but my parents are hard to be convinced. Apparently, my father STILL does not trust my driving skills enough for me to drive alone. Hopefully, within these two months, I'll be able to convince him otherwise...or I'll just have to sneak off to drive in the States...:-p.

The reason why I want to drive is apparent, all my friends are driving, and I'm kinda envious of the freedom having a car and the means of driving grants. Besides, I still want to prove what two of my *friends* wrong and show them that I can drive too!

Learn to play the piano
Ah, the shocker, I guess. Well, those who know me from young who remember me as the person who complained the most about how having three sisters learning to play the piano is detrimental to one's ears and mental health. Well, if they could only play like how Nodame or Chiaki plays, I would not have formed such a bad impression on that musical instrument.

Perhaps its just a fancy wish, but I would like to say that I can play a musical instrument at the very least. My sister says learning a guitar by oneself is easier than the piano, but I feel that the piano sounds better...or maybe its because there was not any guitar instrument in Nodame Cantabile...:-).

I've actually taken to getting materials on how to learn the piano, but I've yet to print them and actually practised on the piano. The former I blame on my laziness, the latter on the questions I'm bound to face by my very, very busybody parents. Sigh.

Exercise
Well, if the previous resolution did not kill any of you, this would. Haha. I've lost all motivation to keep my insane schedule I had in INTI. Gone are the days where I would force myself up to jog. I bet all my hard-earned stamina has dissipated and now replaced by the layers of fat surrounding my tummy.

Well, I guess the blame can be shifted a little to my mum who cooks good food; food which leads me to eat until three helpings of rice and rice = carbohidrates = fat. Ah well. I just hope I can regain my motivation in time, so that I would not look like an overweight nerd with crazy hair. Wait, I'll then look like Albert Einstein! ;-p.

Write at least an hour daily
I'm sure everyone knows about my obsession with the written word. If not, kindly read my blog post entitled Words. Hehe. Thus, to implement all that I've said there, I would need constant practice. I've been distracted lately with good mangas, animes, dramas and fanfiction, but I really need to buck up if I want to improve. *Must work hard!*

Start reading the newspapers from page to page
To be well-informed enough with the world to at least be able to converse with my friends on whatever topic they want; a dream. To achieve that dream, I've to learnt to start reading newspapers thoroughly. I tend to skip to eye-catching topics, leaving me woefully inept in having diverse conversations with my friends.

Perhaps I should dedicate an hour or so as well to accomplish this resolution.

Start following the resolutions I draw up
Ah, the age-old resolution. I'm certain I've added this resolution to all my other resolutions, but like usual, this is always the first one I break...:-p. Hence, by actually posting this, I hope I can motivate myself ENOUGH to NOT break it this time. I most certainly need the self-discipline it instills, for I can't keep screwing up in the States like how I screwed up in INTI. Hehe.

Well, those are all my resolutions for this mid-year session. I really hope I can keep them. I'll update you guys on the state of my resolutions next week. Till then, cheer me on!

Friends

I originally meant to make it a habit to update at least once a day; if not to inform my dear beloved readers (in my case, it's actually just a single reader, as judged by the comments left) on my how-a-bouts but also to keep my writing in practice. Hence, this post, even though its still very early today (5/5/2009).

Last night, I went out and indulge myself in the very common Malaysian-esque practice of drinking tea (yamcha) though another friend and I were the only people drinking tea. It was a gathering of friends from my high school, so it was a reunion of sorts.

What amazed me the most throughout the entire duration (from 9.30 p.m. to 12 a.m. - that's why I did not answer any of the MSN) was that this was the crowd which I did not really fit it with during my school years. They were the chinese educated Bentongites, meaning they converse almost fully in Cantonese and are well-briefed in Mandarin. Thus, being the lone 'banana' amidst the crowd used to be unnerving and uncomfortable, to say the least. This led me to perfect my lone-wolf act during my teenage years, and garnering the moniker as a stuck-up dude as well.

But then, there I was, sitting and chatting amicably with the rest of them. Sure, we still have communication problems, but I've learnt more Cantonese since then and they've practiced a little more English. So, in a utter mix of Cantonese and English, we manage to carry on conversations pretty well. We chatted on alot of things, with them hounding me for a treat since I was flying soon, and a wide critique on recent movies, games and sports.

However, there were a number of silent intervals at which we were all looking for things to talk about. Perhaps it's just me, but I think that this unnatural periods were probably due to the lack of contact we maintain amongst each other when we are all separated and studying in our respective universities.

And I noticed as well that our interests probably diverged along the path to adulthood as well. Being so accustomed to discussing politics with my friends in INTI, I was a little surprised that the word politics was never even mentioned once throughout the two hours reunion. I guess the small-town kids really do have a different mode of thinking as compared to big-town kid :-).

Nevertheless, the reunion was still fun, and I'm looking forward to the next one when my friend comes back from U.K..

Before I take my leave for the day, a dedication to my friends:

What's more than a shadow,
That sticks by you from day to night,
And shares all your joy and your sorrow,
The wind that lets you take flight?

He is the helping hand,
She is the fellow fighter,
Your wounds they mend,
Your burden made lighter.

They are your friends.

Thanks for being a friend!

Words

It's been quite some time since I've last updated my blog - I'm lacking in both inspiration and motivation to at least come up with something new for everyone to read. What with me being such a self-professed ardent lover of the written word, I can't but not feel a little hypocritical especially when I kept pestering my friend to update hers :-).

A quick survey through all that I've posted reveals a very harsh truth - nobody likes my poems. That said, not many enjoy reading the fanfiction I posted either. Conclusion: People who visit my blog lack the subtle touch of artistry that is required to appreciate such fine works of art...or I plain suck in writing. I'm inclined to think the former, but like my friend once said, "If everyone feels the same way, then something must be wrong."

I would like to paint a picture whereby I can boldly declare that I've always enjoyed the written word. Sadly, that is as far from the truth as possible. I HATED reading when I was young. I was such a slow reader - my parents actually tried bribing me to read finish a Bobsey (spelling?) Twins adventure. They offered to buy me a bike if I managed to do so. I was six at that time, and a bike seemed like an adventure. I'm twenty this year, and I still can't ride a bike. Needless to say, the book was simply cast aside.

I could pretend and say that perhaps my folks just used the wrong bait to lure me to a reading habit. It wouldn't be much of a lie, I guess. Bobsey Twins was as dull as a school textbook. But then again, I just hated looking at words back then. I would beg my sisters to "play with me" sans all the possible innuendoes any sick people reading would imagine. Of course, they had to play with me - no one throws a bigger tantrum than me back then :-). So, as a result of my illiterate days, I only learnt how to read when I was in Standard 2, which was very bad. My brother had already started devouring encyclopedias when he was three. Sigh.

But in any case, my earliest memories of reading came from Reader's Digest. I enjoyed its humor while briefly browsing through its tedious articles. From then on, there was no turning back. I swept through the mini library I have at home even the 'forbidden' books my mother has - books written by my namesake, Sidney Sheldon, or the illustrious Jackie Collins. I was beginning to develop a fondness for the written word, and I soon start dreaming of producing my own works.

I could still remember my first foray into the realm of authoring a book. It was based on the fantasy series by Terry Brooks, entitled (I still cringed in abject horror as I recall) "The Druids Of Shannara". Anyone familiar with the Shannara series would know that it's not original nowadays, for the author himself has produced a novel with that title. But back then, I didn't know better, and I thought I was producing a masterpiece. Candor compels me to admit what I merely did was to write one paragraph before tearing it to pieces when my siblings laughed after reading it.

My intense interest of writing came to a head in Form 3, when I was studying for my PMR. It was somewhere then when the novelty of fanfiction was just beginning to set it, and I was swept into its addictive current as well. I would lock myself in my room, rocking to the music of "Accidentally In Love" by Counting Crows (it was really popular then), and draft out long pieces of fiction - all under the pretense of 'studying'. The fact that I only got 6 As for my PMR can probably prove how long I spent wasting my time.

My interest bloomed in Form 4 and 5, whereby I actually started dreaming of a writing career. I told my siblings that, and they enlisted the eldest to actually 'talk some sense into me'. I began writing furiously, even for class homework, to which my English teacher would just roll her eyes and probably chuck my papers somewhere.

Thus, when I came to INTI, I was first excited by the thought that since I'm with all other top students, surely there would be some who would love writing just as much as I did. There were, of course, but those were people I wasn't that close with. My friends were just so-so with reading and writing, and they had an insane vision of me being a good writer. Honestly speaking, I personally feel that there are tons of better writers out there, and I'm just an average one at the very most. I love writing, but I'm not that good at it. In fact, I've actually planned so many things to write, long epics which could take anyone's breath away, but all these projects just dwindle down into nothingness in the end.

A list of my weakness in writing amounts to something like this:
a) My vocabulary needs an expansion - I don't really describe things well enough
b) When writing fiction, I tend to get carried away and lose my plot
c) I'm probably lacking in brain cells (my mum attributes this to the computer), so I can't really remember phrases I love, making my product sound all weird and funny
d) I'm a perfectionist, so when I spot something I don't like, rather than just editing it out, I tend to delete the entire thing (I hope this explains for my lack of updates)

My resolution to these issues:
a) Intensely study all Reader's Digest Word Power articles
b) Copy out nice phrases
c) When reading, take note of how authors construct their description

These will probably take time, but I'm serious about writing. Wish me luck - cheers!

Poem: Birthday

Today,
A star is born,
A song is sung,
A portrait is drawn,
A thought is voiced,
But,
Today,
You exist.

Today,
We celebrate,
We cheer,
We cry,
We smile,
For,
Today,
You exist.

Today,
Is not any special,
Is not any different,
Is not any significant,
Is not any memorable,
Except,
Today,
You exist.

Today,
Is the day,
Was the day,
Will be the day,
Forever the day,
As,
Today,
You exist.

Happy Birthday!

Poem: Memories

Memories,
Are nothing but a road long travelled,
Pitted and cobbled,
With bricks and stones,
Of all shapes,
And sizes,
That weathers the test of time,
That fades in color and strength,
But still remain,
Pieced,
Fitting,
Melding,
Like a jigsaw puzzle,
Both dull and bright,
That paints the picture,
The mesh of color and tone,
Of one's life and story.

Poem: Time

Eyes closed and fingers reaching out,
Nothing remains the same ever,
A second's passing and there's the doubt,
That change is constant and nothing's never.

For time flits, and time flutters,
Dipping its wings for you and me,
Caging us and all that matters,
Within its essence, the time that be.

In rapture and time will fly,
Absent of heed and thought,
That plagues the wintry sky,
That toil and trouble have wrought.

None is spared its passing,
No old nor young nor man nor beast,
Can flee its touch, the everlasting,
That starts and ends the life, the feast.

And bound are we, by bone and blood,
To its tender mercy, or its chilling gaze,
For no man knows the futures that flood,
Within the confines of its temporal maze.

Poem: Alone

Silence pervades the air,
It hangs
Ominously,
Heavily,
Drowning away the roar
Of the loudness,
Of the noise,
That you hated,
That you loathed,
The thick hustle,
The lurid bustle,
But then,
Everything's quiet,
Everything's in solitude,
And you're still,
Suffocating,
Dying,
For breath,
In your dark room,
All alone.

Keeping Up And Catching Up: That Is All

Alright, this is my first non-fanfiction related post (in this blog, I mean, after all, I still remember fondly the days of pure and soul-wrenching and soul-gripping life experiences at my livejournal one), and as much as I am flooded with work, I guess, as my friend quoted it succinctly, inspiration does come at the oddest of times. A lot of things have happened since I decided to close down my 'emo'-ings at my livejournal blog and start out afresh here, some happy, some sad, some meaningful and some not. Nevertheless, life goes on, I guess, and, well, I would rather not have it any other way than this.

I've been getting busier and busier by the day nowadays in INTI, what with the sudden increase in my workload (which is not helped at all by my excellent procrastination methods) and my obsession with a particular light novel/manga/anime series which goes by the name of Toradora!.

Of course, life in campus seems more interesting as well, as I've recently became closer with a certain dorm mate of mine of which I've been sharing the same block for like, 2 whole years, and have only come to realise that now, at the end of my venture here in INTI how interesting he was. No offence meant, Gerard, but you are a social science student, and you just know how your kind are...*twiddles thumbs and whistles innocently*.

We had more than a couple of late night conversations and we exchanged a lot of insights. I found out that he adores canon in whatever interests him (Star Wars, Star Trek, *gasp* Harry Potter, even the games he play) while he uncovered my secret fetish for non-canon, or AU (particularly for Harry Potter). He was the nice boy with the nice dreams of nice superheroes (as evidenced with him fanboying Superman) while I prefered the twisted bad good guys (I like Jack Sparrow. Need I further clarify on that?). He's a little OCD-ish when it comes to certain things (Morrowind and his sleeping routine) while I couldn't possibly be more haphazard than I already am.

Still, we had a lot in common, and even if we hadn't, it still makes for interesting conversations.

On the academic perspective, classes are average-ish, and I'm pretty surprise that I've hadn't flunk out of any yet (particularly Mr. Koong's, but I guess I've learnt my lesson). Dr. Borges' class couldn't be possibly be more interesting, what with abstract philosophical matters being thrown randomly across the classroom which were only the stuff of my dreams prior to PHI 101. Physics II seems to be progressing as well, though probably not as well as I hoped it would be. All in all, I won't be acing any class this sem, but if my current progress is maintained, at least I won't be flunking any either.

Alright, on the entertainment front, I've mentioned earlier that I was currently crazy over a Japanese series known as Toradora!, and I would seriously recommend this series to any romantic (and otaku-ish) fan out there, as the rapport and relationship between the two leads develop is simply amazing. Toradora! is simply a story about two friends, Aisaka Taiga (tiger, or 'tora-) and Takasu Ryuuji (dragon, or '-dora') and the life they share together, first as classmates, then neighbors, friends and eventually lovers.

I particularly adore this anime because I simply like the inimitable interaction between the both of them. Nevertheless, while I was watching this series, a question kept occuring to me: Can a guy and a girl simply be platonic friends without going any further? People who know me would know my stand on this (and why I hated Harry Potter canon) and this series just reinforced my views on that. Well, this obsession is really taking me far, much further than any other anime I've watched this year, as I've even taken to reading the light novels (translated, of course).

Fans of Rie Kugimiya would be please to note that she still rocks as a tsundere character while the relatively unknown seiyuu of Ryuuji, Junji Majima performed pretty well as well (in the anime). I can go on and on about this series, but I would probably do it separately later on (if I were to ever do that...hehe). Suffice to say, it's good, and I would recommend people to watch/read it.

The game that entered my life (and contributed to my current work-inundated situation) would be Morrowind, courtesy of Gerard. A real-time RPG game published by Bethesda and Ubisoft, Morrowind is the third game to be set in the fictional realm of Tamriel, after Arena and Daggerfall.

As with all of the other Bethesda games, Morrowind is particularly loved (and hated) by RPG fans because of its non-linearity and is specifically hated (or loved) again by RPG fans for its numerous bugs. Set in the realm of of the same name as the game, a home of the proud and cruel Dark Elves (or Dunmer, as they prefer to be called) Morrowind portrays a brilliant new look into the world that Bethesda painstakingly created. With a new culture (that of the Dunmer) that goes far beyond common stereotypes and an expansive lore (books are particularly numerous in the game), Morrowind is a truly immersive game, and quite certainly an excellent RPG to waste away one's free time at.

An additional item to note would be the Construction Set that it comes with, and one can simply just create one's own story and game. Brilliant, I'd say!

Woaah, I've actually been typing for almost an hour straight (see how easily I waste an hour?) and since I've yet to prepare for my class, further revelations I've recently discovered have t be put on the back-burner, at least for a while. Till the next time my muse visits me, ciao, and adios, amigos!

P.S. Khairy won the Youth Chief post, so I'm happy!

P.P.S. Shahrizat won as well, so I'm doubly happy!

P.P.P.S. I've actually seen Zaid Ibrahim in person, so I'm triply happy!

They Say Third Time Lucky...We'll See About That...

Wow, this is actually my third time starting a new blog, on a new blogging website, nonetheless. Ah, well, I guess it's not really my fault, because I still think home.spaces.live has too little visitors and livejournal.com is waaaaaay too slow, especially with my dearest EBB connection.

I'm at a loss for words now actually, since I pretty much won't need to be introducing myself (and what I write in blogs). I mean, who in the world doesn't know the Great Sheldon? Wait, don't answer, it's supposed to be a rhetorical question.

I'll be including everything in my blog this time, so hopefully it wouldn't go AWOL that easily.

Anyhow, that's all for my intro, I guess. See you people around!